My intention today was to write to you about the Spirit of Fear. But I would rather not give the enemy the time of day by talking about that. Instead, I feel that the Holy Spirit wants me to talk about the opposite-The Spirit of Faith.
A lot of people have said to me that 2019 was really difficult for them. I can attest. I felt like I was giving birth emotionally, mentally,….everything! When 2020 started, I can bet there was a bit of hesitation for some of you. A bit of “God please let this year be better…” . There might even have been a bit of anxiety. Even though January is almost over, perhaps you are waiting for the other proverbial ‘shoe’ to drop after having so many negative experiences last year. Whatever it is, I want to use the next few blogs to annul the spirit of fear in you and to remind you of who God is, who He has promised to be in your life and what He can do for you in 2020 if you trust Him.
So without further ado, let’s go!
The God Who Does The Impossible
When I was 15 years old, I moved to Canada. I had never left my home country prior to that. I spent my entire life up until that point with my mom. And then I moved to Canada to live with my father. Well, after two years of being there, I returned home. Things were not working out in Canada. I don’t know what I expected, but it just wasn’t my cup of tea. Despite those feelings however, returning to Guyana in the middle of the school year at the age of 17, would not have been considered a good choice by any means. I was in Grade 12 at the time, with one semester left to graduate. If I returned home, I would not have been able to fit into the British education system that my homeland was based upon. If I had stayed in Guyana prior to coming to Canada, by the age of 17, I would have been in the school system that prepared me to write the university entrance exams (CXC). Since I was not prepared to write the CXC exams, I would have been forced into a lower grade and would have to work my way up to the CXC level exams. In that case, I would potentially not graduate until I was 20 years old. Despite the fear of challenges ahead, I did not have a choice. I had to return home.
When I arrived in Guyana, my mom was shocked. After lots of tears, she composed herself, and within twelve hours she was ready to fight. She assured me that I was going to finish school. Even if that meant going to a private institution. She began to pray for an opportunity for me to graduate school. We visited every private school in the country, but each one of them turned us away. We didn’t look like the ‘caliber of people’ who had the money to afford private school. After visiting high schools for weeks, my mom cried out to God again. This time, she prayed that God would send an opportunity for me to graduate in a way that I could easily transition into a North American university. It was at that point I learned the importance of targeted prayer. For any of you who live in a foreign country, you know how difficult it is for a non-North American to get their credentials recognized in a North American school. I don’t know if my mom knew this or not, but I do believe that the Holy Spirit directed her to pray in that way.
Shortly after praying, my mom ran into a friend whom she had not seen in 15 years. After explaining to her friend what happened, she told my mom of a school that was specifically for kids of ‘Foreign Ambassadors. She was not sure if I would qualify, but she said we should at least try.
My mother, fearless as she was, dressed me that morning with the favour of God, and we set out to the school. We met with the Principal and the Vice Principal. They reiterated that the school was specifically for kids of Ambassadors of the US and Canada, who would later return to the country with the intention of going to college. The school provided students with a high school US Diploma so that they would have the necessary qualifications later on for college or university. After a discussion with my mom about my unusual circumstance, the Principal and the Vice Principal decided that they would take me…. IF…. my mother could come up with the tuition. How much? $6500 US dollars. At the time, this was approximately $.625million Guyanese dollars. Such a sum of money was impossible to come up with for any Guyanese person. My mom knew this but she also knew God. She responded “OK” and said that she would be in touch.
After praying for a few days, my mom called the school and told them that she wanted to enrol me for one semester- the last four months of the school year, so that I could graduate. God had told her to pursue and that He would pave the way. My mother enrolled me into the school with less than one quarter of the tuition fees. The Vice Principal told her that she had the entire semester to pay it off.
I continued in the school. I gained favour with everyone there. There was one instance when a group of younger students in Grade 9 were trying to put together a dance for the school concert but were struggling with their confidence. I stepped in and helped them to coordinate the dance. There was another instance, where the school needed someone to represent them at the annual Schools of Guyana concert by singing a song in French. I stepped up and sang in front of an audience of over 2000 people. Weeks went by, and eventually four months went by. The rest of my tuition had not been paid. But my mom had faith that God ‘was going to make a way’. She had faith, even though her business was experiencing a dry season. She had faith even though we were about to be evicted from our home. She had faith that God was going to make a way.
On Graduation day, there was still a 75% balance on my tuition. But because of my involvement with the young girls and many other achievements at the school including being the top of my class, Best French Student, Most Active Student, I received several awards from the school. There was no one else who could receive those awards. As a result I had to attend the graduation. I had to get dressed up in a robe and hat and ‘pretend’ to graduate in order to receive the awards. Condition? Once the Ceremony was over, I would return my graduation attire and also my diploma until the tuition was paid.
I will never forget the disappointment of that day. I remember going home after the ceremony, with tears in my eyes. I smiled with my friends, I celebrated with them. They never knew that I was not like them. That my mother was not an ambassador. That I wasn’t going to go on to college like they were because I didn’t have my high school diploma. I cried. But my mom held me and she said “The story isn’t over.”
I don’t know if she was just trying to encourage me or if she honestly believed that. I tried to not lose hope. My dream of becoming a Doctor was about to be flushed down the drain all because of a series of unfortunate events ending with me not having my High School Diploma. For weeks I cried. How could ‘God’ do this to me? What did I ever do to Him?
Several months later, my mom and I were heading to church. I was still hurt. I felt like I was ‘ghosted’ by God. We didn’t know what would happen. I could not go to any college without a high school diploma. We took a bus that was supposed to take us directly to the church. It was not a particularly safe neighborhood. However, the bus driver decided that he wasn’t going in that direction and told us to walk another 15 minutes. A few words were exchanged by my fiery mother and the driver but we had no other choice. As we were walking, there was a black car driving slowly behind us. We were afraid. But then the car pulled up alongside us. As the windows lowered, the driver- a lady who looked familiar said, “Ms. Austin?”.
Puzzled, my mom looked at her. It was the Vice Principal of the School.
She took out a huge envelope from the back of the car and handed it to my mom.
She explained that she had been looking everywhere for us but that we had moved and no one knew where we were. She finally found out that we attended a certain church and was going there that night to leave the envelope with the Pastor of the church.
As my mom opened the envelope, tears began to flow from her eyes. They weren’t tears of surprise. They were tears that echoed “I knew You would come through. Tears began to flow from my eyes too. Those were tears that echoed…”Thank you for proving that You are real. What were the contents of the package? – My graduation hat, my High School Diploma and my Achievement Awards.
The Vice Principal exclaimed: “Your daughter has great things to do for the world. She will need her Diploma for that. I’ve paid the bill in full”.
Quite a long read I am sure. But I wanted to communicate the entire story, so that you could understand everything.
I know what it is like to have a Word from God and it feels like it is not coming to pass.
I know what it is like to feel like the events of your life is actually going in the opposite direction of the promises of God.
I know what it is like to feel as if God has ghosted you.
In this particular instance, God showed my mom and me that He is the God of the “Suddenly”. He is the God who doesn’t forget His promises.
I leave you with this scripture, which was one of my mother’s favourite.
I submit to you, that whatever God has promised you, whatever He has said to you… He is able to complete it. There is nothing too hard. He will not let you down. Be encouraged that whatever God has promised you, He will do it!
Tidbits from Heaven 